Season 3, Episode 4 – Cheetos, Scorpions, and Dragons

The Neon Gutter Crew returned to Las Vegas to continue the Lord’s work of converting people to the Cheapo way, to avoid scorpions, and to get our hands on the dice at as many wonderful low-roller craps games as we could.

Along the way, we enjoy some dim sum and live music, and do not enjoy the song stylings of Peter, Paul, and Mary.

Most importantly, however, we embark on an intense research effort using only Cheetos and gumption to document which hotels do and do not gouge their customers, and to what extent. You can see the results in our Cheeto Index.

Know how much Cheetos cost in Vegas? Call our Stinkline at (775) 400-2941 to tell us, or with other tips and stories. Email to tell us your stories, or how the Neon Gutter has changed your life. Randy Shandis is standing by! Leave your mailing address to get a Neon Gutter sticker and an authentic $100 entry into Bob Stupak’s Vegas World Daily Slot Tournament.

Burt on Street Sweeper
Burt discovers what you get when you book the cheapest rate from the rental car company.
Neon Gutter at Big West Tournament
Left to Right: Robert, Ghizal, Jeff, Phil, and Stevie Fine Print watch our alma mater crash and burn in their annual basketball tournament once again.
Rio Hotel Room Damage
Apparently, our room at the Rio had hosted a cat convention sometime in the thirty years since it was last renovated.
Rio Hotel Desk Damage
Hungry and staying at the Rio? Gnaw on the desk!
Neon Gutter at the Rio $3 craps
Left to right: Phil, Matt, Stevie Fine Print, Burt, Jerry, and Mike fill up one half of the Rio’s glorious $3 craps table.
Late-night Jerry's Nugget pie and cake
The Neon Gutter crew await our pie and cake at 2 AM in Jerry’s Nugget’s 24 hour coffee shop.
Phil on the Ahern Stage
Phil earns the $5 bounty offered to anyone who urinates on a stage. It was at the Ahern, so nobody even noticed.
Sigma Derby Recording Session
Stevie Fine Print, Burt, and Jerry record the races at the D’s Sigma Derby track.
Phil and Patty Powers
Phil shakes it up on the Tuscany dance floor at the Patty Powers show.
Palms $5 craps
$5 craps with 10x odds at the clean, crisp Palms.
Lit blunt at the Palms
The lit blunt burning above a craps player’s ear at the Palms.
Burt and Bingo
Burt had to call his Bingo Anonymous sponsor to talk him down from diving back into the cut throat and high stakes world of live bingo at the Sam’s Town.
Crazzy Corn at the Sam's Town
You can buy crazy corn all over Las Vegas, but only Sam’s Town can help if you crave an extra Z.
Phil and the Free Cocktails
This picture will be the cover of our new children’s picture book: “Phil and the Free Cocktails.”
Rare Poker Palace Wristwatch
Matt shows off the luxurious Poker Palace watch that Burt gifted him.
Take Off -
Do you have your tickets yet for “Take Off”? It is Las Vegas’s SEXIEST Aviation Burlesque.
Cheetos on Display
A variety of reasonably-priced chips await the savvy shopper who uses our Cheeto Index to understand which hotels gouge and which don’t.